sorry. don't exactly remember where i found the image up here. but so far, i'm loving it and it's my background on the computers, both at work and at home.
i don't think i've ever felt better. it's all coming together and things are definitely making sense and i'm glad i can live the present moments and also see the amplitude of the path where things are headed. boy, do i sound confident! haha
well, as always, i praise sincerity like it's my only priority in life and you know what? everything happens for a reason and so far, a lot has lead here. every action lately, every situation has been a step and i can easily recognize it. sometimes i'll even dare say that i'm excited for the next step!
i'm not quite sure how to pass this feeling onto you guys without going through the whole shpiel but we all have skeletons in the closet. in my life experience, mine weren't exactly skeletons, they were MRIs and CDs with all sorts of head exams and doctors' reports. usually, after a checkup, i just stuff the xrays in there without looking, just plainly on top of the ole pile.
well, a conversation with my mom about my family history + recent choices affecting the balance of objectivity vs. subjectivity of my attitude at work + a better understanding of my responsibilities in general + taking good care of my self and body and conclusion... ta dah! a maaaaaaaaaaaaaaajor clean up in the ex-cancer part of the closet.
wow.
this is not only a relief. relief is an understatement. i'm proud that i took the time to review every little detail that was in there to keep only what's essential to have. cancer was a part of my life, it was an extremely unpleasant part of the past but the keyword in the sentence is not unpleasant which we sometimes choose to focus on. the keyword is past.
for me, this is a defining attitude, it's me taking a step towards opening myself up to life again. accepting what happened and hopefully, already accepting all of life's ups and downs that catch us by surprise. but i'm focused on the now and on how to deal with things to make me have a better life. i want my life to be good and i'm choosing it. i can't change facts and situations sometimes, and i understand i can't control any of it, but i can opt for an emotional intelligence that will keep me balanced in how to deal with things. i'll still feel the lows. again, it's part of life. but i'll let myself feel without being afraid of falling into an abyss.
i can trust myself.
i'm happy and proud and i'm loving where everything is going. (haven't heard myself say things like this in years. really. :)
much much love to whoever's out there reading...
