gladly finished hellinger’s love’s hidden symmetry and now i’m more avidly reading crazy sexy cancer tips. i must say that getting this book after i healed from cancer brings on mixed feelings but i figured i’d pick it up and give it a go because more information never hurts. also, i’m stupid when i stick by these society imposed measurements but it’s sort of a given that until a 5 yr proof that you’re cancer free, you’re only in remission. after 5 yrs u get to call yourself cured. (i have one more year to go! woo hoo!)either way, i just read tip no. 47 and it talks about how the person that had cancer, the author, wanted to ease the pain of her boyfriend, now husband. so she suggested for him to vent with her and she’d listen. a good hearted mistake on her part and only because it’s a fragile situation where it’d be better if the boyfriend had someone else, 3rd party, to vent with. she doesn’t even get into it so deeply but it hit me, and i’m ready to face it, how hard it must’ve been for the people around me. i can’t imagine what it would be like to lose my daughter (no, i don’t have kids, i mean this hypothetically) if i were a parent of a 22 yr old just diagnosed with a malignant cancer in her head. or the feeling of losing my little sister, again hypothetically. and to follow the book’s example, i can’t imagine what it would be like to feel the thought of i-might-lose-the-one because of something like this. miraculously, i don’t feel guilty about any of this because i was as great a sufferer as anyone else, me being the one who was diagnosed with cancer. but i am closer to understanding the size of the fear and therefore reasons for walking away, the reasons not necessarily being personal. i greatly hugely appreciate all the care that everyone gave me while i was battling the cancer and more and more, i appreciate and see that everyone really gave their best. thank yous.
and to use what i learned from hellinger's book and philosophy, if u look at the problem thinking it's a problem, you're in no way headed towards solving anything. if u look at the situation looking for a solution, things are easier to resolve. therefore, i look at this not concentrating on the fear, although it shakes me a bit, but focusing on the appreciation i have today.
CURRENTLY ON IPOD:
~ andalucia by pink martini
CURRENTLY READING:
~ crazy sexy cancer tips by kristy carr
~ travessuras de uma menina má by mario vargas llosa
